Memo From the Wedding Reporter


Congratulations on a busy and productive second month. The creation of a copywriting portfolio was laborious but necessary and we think will be beneficial in the long run. Thank you for finally getting round to posting about gift vouchers for The Wedding Reporter – 4 months late, but satisfactorily in time for Christmas.

Your commissioned feature for Perfect Wedding magazine was a highlight of the period and we look forward to seeing the issue on sale at the end of December. The copy you filed for a new online magazine was also most pleasing.

We were upset that you were unable to make the Weddings in Surrey tweet-up at Fetch am Park but commend your efforts to not only make it to the Ring Bash at the end of the month but also display your own imitable style by falling over repeatedly, including in the middle of Carnaby Street, during rush hour, on a Friday.

Although we were pleased to hear that your work has made your grandparents proud, they are not paying your wages so please stop sucking up to them by taking days off work to see them. Your visits to Christmas at The Orangery and the open day at The Manor were far more impressive and we look forward to seeing reports from both of these events.

Please note that in the current financial climate, we do not have the budget for the website equivalent of jazz hands, so stop wasting your time sketching out your ideas for an ultimate design overhaul and make do with the perfectly pleasant website that Word Press has provided.

Thank you for continuing to raise brand awareness through social media but do try to keep the cat pictures to a minimum and stay on message. Remember: we want to attract dynamic pocket rocket girls who believe in their own sense of style and want it preserved for posterity in a wedding report. Although there are a number of bookings in the diary already, we would like to see this increased, particularly in the months of March and April.

Prior to next month’s review, we would ask that you consider developing a better sleeping pattern that doesn’t involve 4 am panics and also request that you stop trying to break the world record for the longest time staring at a Word document.

The human brain is not wired to consistently do the same thing, so stop trying to write solidly for 9 hours. Breaks are allowed (so long as they involve some other mundane admin task related to the business, and Google Reader does NOT count).

As always, if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to find out the answers for yourself.

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